{"id":314,"date":"2019-08-28T22:53:00","date_gmt":"2019-08-28T22:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/?page_id=314"},"modified":"2019-08-28T22:53:01","modified_gmt":"2019-08-28T22:53:01","slug":"help-for-parents-of-children-who-have-been-sexually-abused-by-family-members","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/help-for-parents-of-children-who-have-been-sexually-abused-by-family-members\/","title":{"rendered":"Help for Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused by Family Members"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you find out or suspect that your child has been sexually abused by a family member,  it can take a toll on you as a parent. It\u2019s important to find a way to  manage your feelings, so you can focus on creating a safe environment  for your child that is free from harm, judgment, and blame. It is  imperative that when your child discloses to you, you continue to repeat  the following messages through both your words and your actions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>I love you.&nbsp;<\/li><li>What happened is not your fault.<\/li><li>I will do everything I can to keep you safe.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If your child is in danger, don\u2019t hesitate to call 911. You can  also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) to  talk to someone from your local sexual assault service provider who is trained to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How am I supposed to react?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There is no \u201cright\u201d reaction to hearing that your child has been \nabused. You may experience a wide range of reactions and feelings that \nmay impact different aspects of your life. Some common reactions from \nparents include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Anger.<\/strong>&nbsp;You may feel angry at the abuser for \nhurting your child or even frustrated with your child for not telling \nyou. It\u2019s also possible to feel angry at your child for disclosing the \nabuse. It\u2019s not easy news to hear, but it\u2019s important to remember it is \nnot your child\u2019s fault.<\/li><li><strong>Anxiety.<\/strong>&nbsp;You might be anxious about responding in \nthe \u201cright\u201d way to your child or navigating the other relationships in \nyour life, especially if you have a relationship with the abuser.<\/li><li><strong>Fear.<\/strong>&nbsp;Depending on your family circumstances, you \nmay be afraid that the abuser will find a way to harm your child again \nor be concerned about taking care of your family on your own.<\/li><li><strong>Sadness.<\/strong>&nbsp;You may feel sad for your child, for your \nfamily, or for yourself. When a child discloses sexual abuse, it will \ncause changes in your life. It\u2019s OK to be upset over the changes in your\n life that may result from this disclosure.<\/li><li><strong>Shock.<\/strong> If you had no idea that the harm was occurring, you may be very surprised to hear what has happened.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>It is important to keep in mind that there is no one \u201cright\u201d \nreaction, and that all reactions and responses are normal. Having both \nyou and your child talk to a professional about these thoughts and \nfeelings can help sort through these issues. Professional support can \nalso result in healthier long- and short-term results for both you and \nyour child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How do I manage these feelings?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Your child is counting on you for support. In order to put your \nchild\u2019s safety first, it\u2019s important to take care of yourself. That \nmeans finding a way to work through your feelings and reactions to the \nabuse that doesn\u2019t interfere with your child\u2019s welfare. It may not be \neasy, but with the right support it is possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Consider talking to a counselor one-on-one. Individual  counseling gives you the chance to focus entirely on you and your  concerns, without needing to worry about how your child will react to  those thoughts.<\/li><li>Develop your support system. It might be family and friends you  trust, or it might be a support group that you didn\u2019t have a connection  with before.<\/li><li>Set limits. Dealing with these emotions can be time- consuming and  draining. Set aside time for activities that don\u2019t revolve around the  abuse.<\/li><li>Practice self-care to keep your mind and body in healthy shape.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What if the perpetrator is part of my family?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Finding out that your child was hurt by someone you know and trust \ncan present some additional challenges as a parent. You may be faced \nwith a range of emotions specific to this situation that others can\u2019t \nrelate to. No one has the right to invalidate the way you feel, but it\u2019s\n important to find a way to manage these emotions in order to prioritize\n the safety of your child. Some experiences of non-offending parents may\n include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Anger towards the child for disrupting your family, especially if the perpetrator is your partner<\/li><li>Anger towards the perpetrator for hurting your child and betraying your trust<\/li><li>Guilt that you didn\u2019t know the abuse was occurring or for still having feelings for the person who hurt your child<\/li><li>If it the person who harmed your child was another one of your \nchildren, you may feel conflicted about how to provide support to the \nchild who was harmed while still trying to protect your other child.<\/li><li>Losing faith in your judgement or abilities as a parent<\/li><li>Practical fears about finances and day-to-day life that may change \nwhen the family member who caused harm is removed from the family circle<\/li><li>Sense of loss for the family member who hurt your child as you begin to cut ties<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What can I expect from my child?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The effects of sexual assault and abuse  vary from person to person. The process of healing from sexual abuse  can take a long time, and it\u2019s understandable to feel frustrated as a  parent. Survivors of child sexual abuse can react in a wide variety of ways. Some of these reactions could cause you discomfort or take you by surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Being angry at you for not protecting them<\/li><li>Being angry at you for removing the perpetrator from the home<\/li><li>Confiding in someone who isn\u2019t you<\/li><li>Not talking about it at all<\/li><li>Talking about the abuse all the time<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How can I report the abuse?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>If your child is in danger, don\u2019t hesitate to call 911.<\/li><li>You can also call\u00a0the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) to talk to someone from your local sexual assault service provider who is trained to help.<\/li><li>Call or text the <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childhelp.org\/hotline\/\" target=\"_blank\">Childhelp National Abuse Hotline<\/a>  at 800.4.A.CHILD(4454) any time, 24\/7, to be connected with a trained  volunteer who can help you through the process of reporting the crime.<\/li><li>You can learn more about mandatory reporting laws in your state by visiting RAINN\u2019s <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/apps.rainn.org\/policy-app\/index2.cfm\" target=\"_blank\">State Law Database<\/a>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Legal Disclaimer<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:12px\"><strong>MyUnheardVoice website provides general information that is intended, but not guaranteed, to be correct and up-to-date. The information is not presented as a source of legal advice. You should not rely, for legal advice, on statements or representations made within the website or by any externally referenced Internet sites. If you need legal advice upon which you intend to rely in the course of your legal affairs, consult a competent, independent attorney. MUV does not assume any responsibility for actions or non-actions taken by people who have visited this site, and no one shall be entitled to a claim for detrimental reliance on any information provided or expressed.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:12px\"><em>Original source link: https:\/\/www.rainn.org\/articles\/help-parents-children-who-have-been-sexually-abused-family-members<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you find out or suspect that your child has been sexually abused by a family member, it can take a toll on you as a<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-314","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=314"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":316,"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/314\/revisions\/316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/myunheardvoice.org\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}